These vibrating strings in fingers I feel
This daylight turns from dreamt to real
And I clench my eyes to seal
This arid precognition
I see life unhinged, on banners it rolls
Happiness and grief ebbs and flows
Leave my life tied in barbed bows
While I ready for omission
Peace will come swiftly as I wallow in dreams
Of the reality that comes apart at the seams
Leaving shredded truth in laughter and screams
All singing in unison
This ceiling stares back at me
Reflecting the myriad memories
Of a million dreams lost behind me
I descend into transition
Eyes unhinged to a familiar day
A dreams still stands in my way
I tear the last bindings of reason away
And take the hand of salvation
7 comments:
I like the way you repeat ideas: being unhinged, for example, but you switch the subjects, splitting the image. I actually went up and re-read it to see what the first reference was to... and the fingers/hand = movement(vibration)/ stillness? (salvation). Powerful. It forces one to think of the differences...
And the selective alliteration, which is always difficult to pull off, without sounding pretentious. you slip into it without making a scene... :)
Ok, now I am getting technical.
But like I said, this is far more profound than a lot of what you've written earlier. Signs of maturity, perhaps? :D
Damn! I had no idea i wrote that stuff! selective alliteration? i had to look that up :) but thank you. I really appreciate the unique perspective you give my work.I actually don't know what i meant by vibrating in fingers but i just write it as i see it. it is up to the reader to interpret it. :) Hope i didn't spoil it for you.
maybe it comes un-pretentiously precisely because you are unaware of the techniques you're using. Now that I have told you, you will be conscious of things the next time - which is a pity, really :p
Re images - well, I was just trying to link the imagery with the ideas. And yes, like you said, ultimately, interpretation lies with the reader. I believe reading is a very personal activity - and you can't impose your inferences on other people. You will always be at a second or third remove from the original meaning... (the first being that the author intended). Even the same piece can mean different things for the same reader when read at different times, which makes interpretation that much more complex and layered.
But I am pushing the point. No, you didn't spoil it for me. I read it the way I wanted to, or was meant to (depending on whether you subscribe to the philosophy of free will or fate) :D
Keep writing. I am actually envious of people who can write verse, because I can't pull it off for anything... It's always exciting to read new writing, especially if you can see styles evolve in front of your eyes.
Thanks again. I am continuously trying to evolve my poetry. you should see my early stuff, back from school, and you can too if you had the 1997 yearbook. whenever i look back at it i think eewwww!
But i have always preferred abstract writing. it broadens perspective and makes the poem more universal. descriptions have a tendency to close the mind to other possibilities. I prefer to do the opposite. relate to it as you will and i am very happy indeed.
Nothing pleases a poet more than appreciation :)
Jitu,
You NEVER told me you werew this AMAZING poet!!
I read the latest three poems and they are breathtakingly BEAUTIFUL!
I LOVE the imagery and especially (don't know the one word for it) the way you express ideas where one can easily identify with the feelings!
Hope you publish these FABULOUS writings!
Best Regards!
Farida
Ouch. Don't remind me of Damini. some of the most godawful tripe I have ever come up with, and I didn't even write that much...
Actually, I rather like descriptive pieces, over abstract ones - one your earlier 'pomes', e.g., Staring, was pretty darn good. Sometimes, you just don't want to have to "interpret" - a straight story, or a poem, as the case may be, is just so much more relaxing... if you get my drift.
Farida, thanks a ton! I really appreciate it. I am working on publications now, there is a group here called the Delhi Poetree who is working towards bringing poets together and publicizing and publishing their work. Hopefully something will work out some day.
Do keep dropping by and leaving comments. really appreciate it. :)
Sumathi,
Yeah i see what you mean. i only use descriptions to maybe use as a "set" for te abstractions to occur. hehehhe, very little of my poetry is relaxing actually, i try and make it as hard on the mind of the reader as it was on mine. I am such a sadist :)
Post a Comment