Blue

Her hair fills my hands
As thunder rolls through my ears
As the cerulean sea creeps upon the land
And touches the sky in a gentle horizon
The blueberries lie forgotten and lie sprawled across the sand
And the turquoise rug that cushioned their fall

My tears sear down my cheeks
And yet won’t warm
Her lips and her kisses
That are now a bitter blue
As her brilliant azure eyes
Gaze longingly at the heavens

How I wish those eyes would turn
And look into my own
As she had tried so many times
If only I had not looked away
If only they could see me now

Memories wash by
One for every tear
One for every moment
One for every step I took back
And every step she took forward
One for every time she called my name
One for every kiss
And every one I missed
One for every grain of sand
Beneath us
As wave after wave reaches out for her

We had drifted, I think
From lovers to strangers
Without oars
And without a guiding star
I had grown deaf to her voice
Perhaps drowned out by my own turbulent seas
And I was blind to her tears
It is a wonder, how my own tears
Clear my vision

We had drifted
From such deep beauty
Such empathetic ecstasy
Pure penetrating love
That bound us together with such passion
How had we come undone?
Now estranged and alone in each other’s arms

The sun sets and touches her eyes
As the waves flow gently beneath her hair
And there abandoned on the sand
Lies an empty shell next to her
Orange in the evening light

Choice

They stretch out as far as the eye can see
A Million doors line the scene
Each step leads to other myriad courses
This life seems anything but free

It seems I have wandered off again
There is a road where none should have been
It has led me back to the crossroads I had passed
Somewhere on the horizon behind me

I had been here many moons before
And had walked with certainty through that door
The mahogany one on the left, I was so very sure
And it stands before me once more

The others always looked so tempting and open
Promising to lead me on golden roads unbroken
But the mahogany, with dreams in every grain
Promises crossroads galore

And so I stand, my temples begin to ache
Don’t know how many roads and doorknobs I can take
Life’s million choices have finally driven me insane
While I am torn to every door

How can I see which ones are strewn with glass
Which are real and which ones a farce
How many feet must I wedge in every door
Just to be given a second chance once more

How many doors will slam shut in my face
Forcing another crossroad to take its place
Another foot broken as my steps, I retrace
To the maze of crossroads I traversed before

This one in particular, seems harder than the rest
And so it seems with every new road I must test
And so it will be for the worst and the best
That I choose to walk, once I open the door

If only there was a path between
Where such choices would seem obscene
Where rainbows would be bright and clean
And regret would be forgotten for evermore

In these tired eyes, this maze blurs together
I grow weary of this pointless endeavor
Maybe I wish the end were nearer
But for the fire that burns in every pore.

Life will be what I desire it to be
Whether I be tethered or winged and free
I will tear down the walls that encumber me
And with them I will build another door.

Back from the Brink

The dust and pollen choke my throat and nostrils
And give rise to horrific discharge
Vociferous sneezes echo through the halls
As handkerchiefs fill the laundry barge

Tears fill these bloodshot eyes
As coughs gallop forth after
Guttural moans and agonized cries
Emanate from this face filled with plaster

Fever heats a furrowed brow
Will the world end today?
Armageddon would be so welcome now
With every sneeze, my life ebbs away

And oh, the pounding echoes through my skull
With waves of pain that batter its shores
No more can I take these screaming gulls
That flutter with feathers that stab and bore

But soon she will come to make it better
With chicken soup and honey ginger tea
To smooth the shards and make dry coughs wetter
And make the fevered furrows in my brows flee

And sip I do with oohs and aahs
As soft gold drips down my gullet
And to think life was so dreary and dark
That I would have happily bitten the bullet

Aaah my ever sweet mattress,
Thy warmth and comfort drown me in love
And dreams spill forth from thy heavenly caress
As a blanket of stars covers the sky above

Lazy sleep seeps into my bones
As my coughs and sneezes dissipate
My nose no longer knows the blows
My bloodshot eyes succumb to their dreamy fate

Salvation

These vibrating strings in fingers I feel
This daylight turns from dreamt to real
And I clench my eyes to seal
This arid precognition

I see life unhinged, on banners it rolls
Happiness and grief ebbs and flows
Leave my life tied in barbed bows
While I ready for omission

Peace will come swiftly as I wallow in dreams
Of the reality that comes apart at the seams
Leaving shredded truth in laughter and screams
All singing in unison

This ceiling stares back at me
Reflecting the myriad memories
Of a million dreams lost behind me
I descend into transition

Eyes unhinged to a familiar day
A dreams still stands in my way
I tear the last bindings of reason away
And take the hand of salvation

Pain will Follow

Pain will follow
I step forward into the days after tomorrow
And must realize
That pain will follow

I will watch my parents wither away
Until nothing is left but inevitable tears
Nothing is left but lonely rooms
Where memories dance
In the light of the sun

All my life, I would never imagine
Never dared to imagine
The absence of these beautiful souls
The ones who brought me to be the man I am
The ones who made me the boy I was

How their aromas will haunt me
Unleashing memories by the millions
Fluttering through me in swarms
Each wing a shard of glass
To remind me of the promises I couldn’t keep

But they are here now
Love is here
Their hands are here
To hold me aloft

But I know…
Nothing can prepare me
For the pain
Make no mistake
Pain will follow.

I Fly Tonight

I fly tonight
But with shadows around me
My soul has been shaken
By the love that has sprung within me

Till now it was craving
To be touched
And known
And now
It breathes life into me

My heart stops
When I think of that moment
Of utter softness
And complete warmth
And yet
It hurts when I think of
The confusion brought forth
By one… single… kiss

Oh, the joy
The pain
For I never wanted you to
Be in this place
A place where your heart
Fights to grip reality
Fights to grip certainty
Of the right and the wrong

And yet this is so right
Never before has someone
Fit so perfectly in my arms
Never before has someone so perfectly
Touched my soul

Such perfection in every inch of you
Has me writhing to hold you
So very close
And make everything right
Make your demons disappear
Make your heart
One with mine
Make one our tears
Let our kiss last the ages
That are counted in the moments
You are not here
If only this night would never end
If only time was on our side
If only such walls did not separate us
If only you could fly by my side
As I fly now
With these shadows around me

Here to Stay

It’s here to stay now
There’s no running away now
No more crying into pillows
No more screams

It is now in every step
Every breath, every withered syllable
Of lame consolation
It has filled me now
And become the stuff I am made of

Let me explain
I have not always been there
For many years,
Alas
My whole life
I have held love to my soul
And given it so freely

And with every year that goes by
Every kiss that says goodbye
Every soft hand that leaves my palm
Takes a little of my love away

Now all I have is emptiness
Its here to stay now
There’s no running away now
No more crying into pillows
No more screams
Only empty words
From these empty lips
Only an empty heart
Begging for a complete kiss

Staring

Sitting before me with a blank stare
Barely alive, barely aware

I’ve known him for years
But we just met
But the silence grows thicker with every breath
What can I say to this man who betrayed me?
A man I thought I knew as someone who understood me

I have never felt such cold hate before
Such decisive resentment,
Such anger, before
It burns in his eyes like a cold, black fire
As the screams grow louder outside the door

This was my last chance at salvation and peace
To come to terms with these devils and beasts
Whose shadows flutter across the floor
From the light that beckons from under the door.

Twisted is he, old and grey
The oblivious youth has given way
Forgotten innocence has paved the way
For the frigid fury I sit before today

He will not move
He will not leave
No matter how I wind and weave
Through the million promises I have sworn to keep
And the shattered oaths that lie at my feet

He stares on as the screams grow ever louder
The air grows thick with smoke and powder
How can he hold my reigns this tight?
And why have I never found the courage to fight?

It seems I knew him little or not at all
Even less now that he sits in this mirror on the wall

The Feather

The feather falls
And where it touches
The ground
An echo emanates
While the breath of dust
Descends on the fibres
Each strand reaches out to touch the wind
And sways at the slightest of breezes
Such a breeze wouldn’t touch a leaf
And yet it would take this feather to the heavens

The fur of brightest blue
Flutters as it rolls clumsily across the ground
Until a sudden gust of wind
Lifts it off the ground
So it can fly amongst clouds of rain
And play with the dew drops

And the feather races across the sky
It’s chariot of wind carrying it
To uncharted, unknown places
Not one person will ever see that feather twice
For it never stops
It flows with time and clime
Touching every living soul
On the face of the earth
Turning brown to green
And black to blue
Setting a new balance
Where it can someday
Perch itself in the cover of a cloud
And look down on a fresh creation

Spring

Lying under the sun
On green fields
Under the vast trees of shadows
Sparkles of light dance through the leaves
Flashing before my eyes
Across the meadow
Across the fields
Beyond the trees
The smoky skies toil away
Bringing cool wet scents to the air
Songs heard away in the branches
Little flutters of feathers
As the sparrows nestle
Into their new homes

Across the green
Shone white
A flutter of white fabric
Fluttering in the breeze


A white dove
An angel
Rushes across the grass
Flowing her long white gown behind her
Screaming with glee
Laughter sounding like soft bells
Petals touched with dew
Listening to the sounds
Of beauty brings my heart to a leap
This couldn’t be real
The flowing hair
The live eyes
Twinkling in the sunshine

You can see me
She stops
Her laughter halts
And my heart pounds
She trots through toward me
Her feet barely touching the grass
I can’t move
Paralysed by this brilliance
She comes
Bends before me
To inspect me
I lie on the grass dazzled
She reaches down
Plants a gentle kiss
On my lips

My chest confused
Whether to freeze or to explode
‘Tis indeed an angel
Can I actually see her wings?
She lies down beside me
And through the sparkling sunshine
Comes rain

Across the edge of the sky
Comes the great band of light
Spreading in its vibrant limbs
To bridge Heaven and Earth

Here is the angel
Lying next to me
Close as I ever wanted
And twice as free

Lovalynne

She walked into the room
And read the words
The words which shot a hole
Right through her chest
The words which flushed
Every drop of life out of her heart
She sat slowly down on her bed
Her eyes filled with tears
Tears
The likes of which
She would never feel again

Thoughts of a million questions
Washed through her head
Her need for life
His life
Lay sprawled on the floor, dead
She cried till her eyes grew dry
But only till tears filled her again
And again she would cry

She stared dazedly out of her window
Staring at the stars that lay beyond

And she remembered
Though her eyes were a blur
The sun rising before her
Something he had said to her

Her lips quivered in remembrance
She squeezed her eyes shut
She ground her teeth to stifle her wail

As the sun peeked around the hills again
She could hear him say to her
Calling from the yellow yonder
“This sunrise I have made for you
Even though I’m no longer
I promise I will wait for you
Don’t cry, just smile for me
And I’ll give to you
The stars on a silver platter.”

And through her tears
She smiled
And kissed the sun